Healthy living

Finding couple time when you have a new baby

Spending time with your partner is an important part of maintaining your relationship. A healthy, solid relationship is good for you, both as people and as parents. But with a new baby taking up so much of your time, it can be hard to remember what life was like as a couple.

Here are some practical ‘his and hers’ tips on how to nurture your relationship.


  • Thank her for everything she does for you and your baby.
  • Respect your partner’s need for physical space. She might feel ‘all touched out’ from looking after the baby. Show her you care with words and actions.
  • Tell her she’s beautiful and special.
  • Organise a baby-sitter, take her out for ice-cream and watch a sunset together.
  • Be old-fashioned. Give her flowers – even a single rose from your garden speaks volumes.
  • Make her breakfast in bed.
  • Do the housework without be asked (seriously, this is important to women!).


  • Thank him for everything he does for you and for your baby.
  • Make physical contact. Go back to basics and hold his hand when you sit next to him. Making the first move (even a simple move like this!) at least some of the time shows him you haven’t forgotten him.
  • Tell him he’s sexy. Your libido may have dropped after birth and he might understand that… in theory. In practice, he still needs to know he’s attractive to you.
  • Organise a baby-sitter and meet him for lunch.
  • Be old-fashioned and cook his favourite meal. Light some candles, play his favourite music and eat together.
  • Write him a short love note and hide it in his wallet.
  • Plan a date night. A DVD and popcorn is perfect, and it’s ok if you both fall asleep in the first 5 minutes.

Women and Newborns Health Service

This publication is provided for education and information purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical care. Information about a therapy, service, product or treatment does not imply endorsement and is not intended to replace advice from your healthcare professional. Readers should note that over time currency and completeness of the information may change. All users should seek advice from a qualified healthcare professional for a diagnosis and answers to their medical questions.

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